How do you get a young cat to be more friendly?

My cat is quite young, about a year old, and she's not very friendly. She is a Tuxedo cat named Razz and is okay if you pet her but only if she wants you to. She'll jump on your lap when you lay on the couch, but if she's just sitting there and you try to pet her, she'll flinch and run away. I like to pick her up and hold her face close to mine, but she absolutely hates that. She squirms and jumps out of my arms. Razz doesn't like it at all if you get her close to your face. I want to hold her and pet her, but not only when I'm laying on my couch. How do I get her to be okay with me holding her and petting her and getting her close to my face?